school days

well, i managed to make my way back into the public school system, the place that convinced me that i had chosen well in leaving investigation work and moving towards something different. after the frightening short stint in the autism classroom, i was, to say the least, somewhat trepidatious. was the experience i had as an indian ed tutor a fluke? had that year been an anomaly, something to not be repeated?

it is somewhat early to really make a judgment call, but early reports indicate that i can function effectively in the school system, and that it is, indeed, both fulfilling and rewarding. i've spent the last two days in different schools, different classrooms, with different subjects and age groups. both were tremendously full, but quite satisfying. both held challenges that made me feel vital, and both brought sweet surprises.

while i prepare to take the tests that could lead to my full certification as a teacher, a "real" teacher, i am working as a substitute teacher. it's challenging, because there is a type of student in every classroom who feels they are not fulfilling their potential if they do not make the life of a substitute teacher absolute hell. and i have felt them test me, but with no success. the secret, i believe, is to not allow them to make you angry. a good sense of humor, a respectful demeanor, and an understanding of when it is time to pull out the control voice seems to be my most successful modus operandi.

i pray i pass the tests the first time, both because i am anxious to get into a full-time position making an almost decent wage with benefits and because it costs a bundle to test. i don't want to put the burden on my family of continuing to make a substandard wage as well as spending more funds on testing. i am studying. the math sucks, but the rest is going okay. i think i'll engage a tutor to help me understand some of the review that is beyond my ken. i have a hair less than one month til the tests. pray for me.